


late firsts

by LEEHYU6KIES



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Childhood Friends, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, day 1: firsts and lasts, hyuck is curious, im not a good writer but im trying, mark wants to do something better with their hands, theres angst if you squint i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LEEHYU6KIES/pseuds/LEEHYU6KIES
Summary: Mark likes to think that nothing has really changed between him and Donghyuck. They were 5 year old’s when Mark says that they needed something better to do with their hands, to which Donghyuck suggests the following:-High fives-Aggressive hand-holding (arm wrestling)-Writing letters to each other-Making a handshake-The hairbrush thing (see: Donghyuck’s demo)-Trace each other’s molesMark thinks it’s the same, since up to this day they’ve done all. All except the last two. It wouldn’t make much difference would it?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80
Collections: Markhyuck Week 2021





	late firsts

The scene played out like this, five-year-old Donghyuck and Mark were sitting in the sandbox in their village’s playground. They were originally making sand castles, but Mark had other things in mind.

There was something at hand that Mark found more fascinating.

At first, Donghyuck thought that Mark found an insect, so he takes a look for himself, expecting a green 6-legged thingy, whatever they called it. Mark kept moving and rotating his hand and it got harder for Donghyuck to see, so he told Mark a small 'stay still' so he could see whatever Mark was so focused on – also so whatever insect was on Mark's palm wouldn’t get dizzy from all the spinning.

Turns out, Mark was just fascinated with his hand. He took the other hand up too and gazed upon it with a mixture of confusion, awe and curiosity written on his face. Donghyuck, seeing that the boy was staring at his hand, decides to follow suit and look at his own pair too.

With the sandcastles long abandoned and their hands seated upon their knees, the two boys looked so entranced with-

Actually, Donghyuck doesn’t even know why he’s looking at his hands. They weren’t as interesting as Mark made them out to be. But with unwavering focus, Mark was still fixated on his very own pair, so Donghyuck goes back to doing the same, hoping that it would make sense sooner.

"Donghyuck -ah, what else do you think our hands can do?"

Donghyuck was confused. He couldn’t see where this was going. He tilts his head in response, eyebrows furrowed and a frown forming on his lips.

"Our hands?" Donghyuck asks.

"Yea? Yours and mine. L-like besides making sand castles and holding on to the swings, what else is there to do?"

If Donghyuck were asked if he knew what Mark meant at that, he wouldn’t know what to say. Mark was still staring at his hands and Donghyuck was – well, he was staring at Mark trying to see if it was a joke, or a trick question, or whether he had another one of those trivias he learned.

But instead of saying some corny joke or some trivia Donghyuck would find completely irrelevant, Mark just looks at him. He was expecting an answer. It was as if the answers Donghyuck would be giving would be of much value, so much value that it would change their lives.

"Well, uhmmm... there’s high fives?" Donghyuck answers rather hesitantly.

Mark eyes sparkles at that, he nods his head and urges Donghyuck to continue.

“There’s also writing letters to each other, I think I saw it in a movie mom was watching the other day.” Donghyuck thinks for more, searches for something he thinks Mark and him could do.

He continues, "Aggressive hand holding? Dad used to do it with my uncles. But I don’t think it counts as hand holding though…. ‘cause they were holding at a weird angle? a-and they looked like they were fighting each other."

Donghyuck thinks that maybe their bodies were too small for that. His dad and uncles had bigger muscles than Mark and Hyuck did and with that he suggests, "Maybe not too aggressive, let’s just do our regular hand holding."

"Hmm," is all that Mark says.

Mark doesn’t look satisfied with what he has given, Donghyuck thinks to himself. So, he contemplates on better things that their hands could do. Something that’s only for them and made by them too. oh-

"A handshake! Mark! A handshaaaaake, it would be so cool if we made our own handshake! It’s like-'' Donghyuck makes an attempt to demonstrate, waddling on his knees to inch closer to Mark. He grabs a hold of both of their small hands. He tries to manage their hands to make a few movements: a high five, a slap-slap on the back and front of their hands or whatever it's called. "I think every great duo in the movies has something like that."

"Oooh, we could definitely do that," Mark says, heady over the thought of him and Donghyuck having their very own combination for a handshake

\--

"Mark, remember when you asked me what better things we could do with our hands?"

Donghyuck is sitting on his swivel chair, settled in the far corner of his room, just near his study desk. It was dim in the room, the only source of light being Donghyuck’s lamp. Mark couldn’t make out the expression that plays on Donghyuck’s face. He’s clueless as to why his best friend of 12 years would bring up the question Mark once asked when they were five-year-olds.

"Yea, I do, why’d you ask?" He answers and focuses his attention back to the book he was reading.

"We never got around to doing the last two." Donghyuck says, turning to face his desk. He slouches over his textbooks, trying to hide the way the blood has rushed to his cheeks. The younger’s back is what Mark sees.

_The last two?_

Mark Lee at 17 years old definitely felt like he has aged a lot more. He doesn’t remember what the last two suggestions of Donghyuck were. All he remembers is that they and their friendship grew up fine without doing whatever Donghyuck had said. After all, he thinks, it would have been the same, whether or not they did the last two.

"The last two?" Mark asks.

Now, Donghyuck regrets bringing up the last two suggestions, but with the way his heart jumps at the idea of him and Mark doing them makes him remember why he brought it up. It’s been years since that conversation. It’s been years since he suggested it to a tired Mark after being all hyped and creating the handshake only a second after Donghyuck had recommended it. But it has also been years since they were open to the feeling of being cradled in each other’s arms, even at the most random times. They aren’t as touchy as they were when they were kids. The last two suggestions, if done throughout the years as they grew up, would really cause a difference in their friendship.

"Oh, hahaha, no, no, no, it was just a random thought." Donghyuck avoids answering the question.

"Well, okay then," Mark says, he rarely pushes the other to talk about topics he doesn’t want to. It’s always been an easy understanding most of the time.

\--

"Mark," Donghyuck says tapping at the older’s shoulder who lays across the bed.

"Mmhhmm?"

They were at Mark’s home. The welcoming smell of homemade cookies and pastries made by Mrs. Lee has always made Donghyuck think that this was his second home, contrary to popular belief that it was the school. The two of them had just finished a part – the first of many, he later realizes – of a continuously evolving handshake.

Donghyuck has managed to convince Mark that the handshake they had now was enough. In the process of making it, their enthusiasm about it was skyrocketing. They were bouncing on Mark’s bed. They were rolling on the floor from laughing. They were basically yelling at each other out of excitement as they went on. If Donghyuck knew it would be this tiring he would’ve passed on the offer of making the handshake today. But it was so worth it. Although he has seen Mark happy, he has never seen Mark be this elated about a handshake, but then again it was Mark who wanted to do something better with their hands.

Hands are just hands, Donghyuck had thought earlier. But with the way his adrenaline rush slowly fades away, with the way a smile flashed so brightly across Mark’s face and the seemingly endless number of giggles they shared, he starts to begin thinking otherwise. All of this? Just from hands? There must be something. Something more as to why Mark expressed such intrigue.

_That has been a biiiit too much thinking_

Donghyuck decides to leave finding an answer to his questions for another time. "I’m heading downstairs and see if the food is ready, since you clearly don’t have the energy to do so."

He hears Mark make a noise against his pillow. It wasn’t exactly comprehensible, but he just knew that Mark said he would like some juice with his mom’s cookies.

The younger heads downstairs and doesn’t make an effort to be silent, but he wasn’t that loud either. He’s sure that he has probably gone unheard when he finds himself standing still at the entrance of the kitchen, unconsciously staring at the backs of Mark's parents.

They were laughing, Mrs. Lee leans her forehead on her husband’s shoulder. Mark’s dad had such a fond look on his face when he got to see the way Mrs. Lee's ears have turned red. Donghyuck could see it too. So, he chooses to stay where he is and just watch the lovely couple.

Mr. Lee brings up his hand to cradle his wife’s head as she leans on his shoulder. Oh, he’s doing a lot more, Donghyuck thinks. He sees Mr. Lee’s fingers card through her hair, tucking away the stray hairs and just running through the strands. The moment seems intimate, Donghyuck feels like he’s invading it.

He tries to move, he really does. It’s such a sweet moment shared between the two of them, it warms Donghyuck’s heart, making him choose to stay as a witness. Mrs. Lee is the first to pull away, hand reaching out to Mr. Lee’s face. Her fingertips hover over the moles of her husband – Mark has the same moles but it was on the left of his face, Donghyuck easily remembers. Tracing over the four moles just around her husband’s jaw, she stares at them with such adoration. The space between them closes and Mrs. Lee places such a gentle kiss on her husband’s lips – Donghyuck looks away, shy of intruding such an idyllic time meant only for Mark’s parents.

He backs away from the kitchen, letting the couple have their moment. He settles on waiting on the stairs and stares at his own moles. One at the back of his right hand. A few more littered along the length of his arm and one that sits on his shoulder.

 _Not now, hyuck_.

Donghyuck stands up and heads to the kitchen when he hears the couple laughing at a story Mr. Lee was sharing. He feels like the moment between the couple has dissipated, so he goes on without hesitation. He knocks on the doorway, a way to make his presence known and asks,

“Eomeonim, is there any food ready? I can take it up to Mark hyung since he’s pretty tired.”

"Oh, Donghyuck-ah, yes, let me just fix it on a tray so you could bring more to your hyung," Mrs. Lee says as she places a couple of pancakes and cookies on plates, later situating them inside the tray. "I’m betting Mark asked for juice too?"

"If that’s what ‘eurghaugh’ meant, then yes he did ask for it, " Donghyuck says, almost forgetting the request of the older boy. Mark’s mom readies two glasses of orange juice and also places them on the tray.

"Will you be able to carry this? or…. do you want me to help you?”

"I think I can do it, eomonim." Donghyuck offers a smile, his hands gripping carefully and tightly at the ends at the tray and stabilizes himself.

He manages to bring the tray of food up to Mark's room without spilling anything. Mark’s mom had accompanied him just in case and left after telling the boys, "Come down for refills if you want."

They take their time to eat, making sure to not spill too much crumbs that ants could feed on. There’s a comfortable silence between them. Something that they can share without having to put much effort to hold a conversation.

Except it was barely comfortable, Donghyuck kept thinking about what he saw in Mark's parents. They were so in love with each other, he thinks that it's beautiful.

Donghyuck jumps on the bed. He crawls and sits beside Mark who was leaning on the headboard, finding comfort with the way his right side meets Mark’s left. Back then he’d usually never leave his mom’s side to feel warmth, well not until he was introduced to Mark.

Donghyuck met a very shy Mark during fall when he was four, Mark just a year older. In the span of a year, they have grown so close so quickly. Donghyuck wouldn’t have expected that less than a year later he’s already making handshakes with him.

"I have another suggestion Markie-"

"Hyung, I’m older."

"Not right now, no, we’re both five." Donghyuck says, taking advantage of how his and Mark’s birthdays were far apart and ignoring the fact that it doesn’t actually work that way. He continues, "As I was saying, I have another suggestion that we could do with our hands that I saw in the movies."

He couldn’t tell Mark that he saw it from his parents. It’s been less than a year but he doesn’t know how he reacts to this type of stuff.

Mark hums, a rather quiet way of telling Donghyuck to just say it already.

"We could brush each other’s hairs with our h-hands, and uh poke or m-maybe trace the moles we have." Donghyuck finally manages to get out even when his head is down and focusing on his hands as he fiddles with them while he waits for Mark's answer.

"You wanna do that?" Mark asks, voice deep and drowsy. Donghyuck thinks that maybe it wasn’t the right time to bring this up, Mark always gets sleepy when he’s full.

"It's just something that we can do if we're.... uh like not hyper enough to do the handshake or the other stuff."

"Mhmm," Mark slides down the headboard, adjusting his position and snuggling up on his pillows as he tries to find a comfortable spot. "We can do it sometime if you want." His eyes close and it doesn’t take a while for Donghyuck to conclude that he has fallen asleep.

The locks that fall against Mark's face looks like they’re begging to be tucked away. Donghyuck’s hands start to move. The space Donghyuck was in right now felt all too similar, all too intimate. What difference could the act of running his fingers through Mark's hair possibly make?

\--

A lot, apparently.

At 17, Donghyuck thought he would’ve forgotten about it by now, that he wouldn’t be thinking of it as much as he is now. Oh, if he only knew that he would be thinking about it for 12 more years, he wouldn’t have done it.

Mark's hair felt soft. He remembers of the time he went into his parents’ room, a reflective piece of fabric that covered the expanse of the pillows catching his eyes – he later learns that it was called silk. He remembers it being the only smoothest and softest texture that he has ever felt against his hands. But oh, Mark's hair. Mark's hair was a different type of soft. His fingers moved so easily, so smoothly along the strands of Mark's hair.

Ever since that moment, he has always found excuses to get his hands on Mark's hair. Mostly when the boy was asleep, whirring against the bedsheets. Other times when the older was sitting down and he was standing just by the side of him. Any time that presents itself as an opportunity to touch the soft mop of hair that sits on top of Mark's head, he takes it.

If he knew that the first time he decided to tuck away that stray lock of Mark’s hair would be hidden like his first ever secret from his best friend, he wouldn’t have done it.

That is, until he feels a light and comfortable weight that brushes over his hair seconds before he's falling asleep. He knows that it was Mark. It should be Mark; they were the only ones inside the room. Besides that, Donghyuck knows that only Mark of all people would do it, he was always one to return the favor.

He tries to calm himself, tries to keep up the act of being asleep. He didn’t want it to stop so he tries his best to stay still, like how he is when drifting off. He can’t help but think how Mark felt as the older does this. Was his hair soft against Mark's fingers too? Was this the first time or has he done this before? Has he caught up and knew Donghyuck was doing the last few suggestions by himself?

"You’re not asleep, are you?"

Donghyuck feels his breath hitch, his muscles involuntarily tensing upon the way the older’s voice seemed a bit too deep, too quiet. It was a bit like a reminder that Mark has known him for years, knows him like the back of his hand. And although Mark usually sleeps first, he’s also the first of them to wake up, seeing what habits the other has while asleep.

Donghyuck’s eyes flutter open, a silent answer to Mark's question. Mark feels like he has seen Donghyuck again for the first time, but this time he wasn’t as shy as he was. The younger boy was chewing on his bottom lip as he took a hesitant look in the older's face. He thinks of something, a way to pass the ball on to Mark’s court. He tries to keep his guard up, how the usual Donghyuck would have something smart to say.

"You must be watching me sleep a lot for you to be able to know that I wasn’t."

It was Mark’s turn to stay still. Eyes focusing on the sheets, on his hands, on the headboard – anywhere but Donghyuck. With Mark failing to answer, Donghyuck closes his eyes again. He didn’t want to see how Mark struggles to meet his eyes, struggles to admit that he realized what the two suggestions were after Donghyuck had asked about them.

He’s always known Mark to be like this: heart on his sleeve, making immense efforts to tuck it back in. Like Donghyuck doesn’t know how badly his heart was shattered by his first girlfriend that played him. Like Donghyuck didn’t notice how bright his eyes sparkled at the very thought of convincing his mom to buy him his first guitar so he wouldn’t have to borrow Jeno's. Like Donghyuck can’t see how easily his heart unfolds at the sight of happy children. It’s completely unnecessary, Donghyuck thinks, how Mark tries so hard to hide himself in walls from Donghyuck. Walls that are transparent, penetrable, but only to Donghyuck, so really, what was the point?

"Was it the first time you did that?" Donghyuck finally asks.

"No."

_Oh, so we both tried to hide our firsts._

"Haven’t done the very last one tough." Mark continues.

_Where is he going with this now?_

"Maybe because I didn’t want you to be asleep as I do it."

 _Oh_. "Well, I’m awake now?"

"Can I?"

It’s not specific, but they both knew what Mark was asking permission for. Donghyuck easily understood, Mark did too. When Donghyuck suggested the last one he wasn’t sure how he wanted it to be. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it to be intimate, or just something they habitually do to give comfort. But one thing he knows is hands aren’t just hands anymore, they were something more than just organs that helped grasp at things. It doesn’t have to be intimate he concludes to himself; it just needs to be something that only the two of them could do so they have something better to do with their hands rather than let it swing around the air.

“Thought you’d never ask, but please, for the love of god, do not poke my eye or I will fight you.” He jokes wanting to alleviate the heaviness of the atmosphere. 

Everything was tense and Donghyuck didn’t it want it to be that way because – well, it was Mark. Things with Mark were always easy. From how fast they managed to be best friends and make such a legendary handshake to how fast they attempt to resolve a problem between their friendship.

There was one thing Mark doesn’t find easy though, which mole of Donghyuck’s does he start off with? He didn’t really think it would be this hard to just trace moles but this was a huge step for the both of them and might even be the first of something. He was wrong when he thought that it wouldn’t cause too much of a difference. He wanted to be careful with Donghyuck.

He lies down beside Donghyuck and decides to start on the mole that sits on Donghyuck’s cheek just right to the bottom of his nose, bringing up his thumb as he moves on to the mole just a few centimeters on top of it. Mark feels Donghyuck take in a deep breath. He thinks of retracting his hand, but decides against it and lets it stay on the boy’s soft honey skin.

“Is this…. okay?” Mark asks, unsure on whether he should keep on going or not.

“Mhm, i-it’s alright.”

Like it was the cue Mark was waiting for, he continues to trail his finger to the mole that sits on the top of Donghyuck’s cheekbone. He stays there for a few seconds, then dragging it down to the mole that is parallel to the first one, near his jaw. From there he isn’t sure where to go next – Mark knew where the moles were, knows their positions so well, but he needs to plan this out carefully. His eyes follow the way his finger runs down from his jaw to the base of the younger's neck, just above the collarbone and gives it a light press.

Mark's favorite mole was next – the mole just on his Adam’s apple. Mark isn’t one to believe superstitions about moles but he’s known Donghyuck to be confident, sometimes competitive but usually it’s about the way he sings. And god, if Mark were made to choose only one person that he would hear the voice of for the rest of his life it would be Donghyuck’s.

He then lifts his finger to the last mole that could be seen just a few centimeters below his ear. He rests his hand there, thumb already moving along the line of Donghyuck’s jaw.

“So, was that really the first?” Donghyuck asks, his tone playful as if he hasn’t been staring at Mark’s focused expression as the older trails along his face just earlier.

A nervous chuckle answers him, how Mark of him, Donghyuck thinks. He hears a soft “yeah” right after.

“But is it the first of many?”

“Hmm… if it isn’t then I wouldn’t have done it.”

**Author's Note:**

> omg okay im just starting out as a writer and i saw the markhyuck fan week as an opportunity to work on my writing style, or like writing in general. i wasnt able to proof read this properly so if theres any errors im really sorry. anyways this was my attempt in making a fic with the theme firsts and lasts for mh week :DDD
> 
> oh and also i got this idea from when mark traced johnnys sunflower tattoo while they were making in tea in 'london'


End file.
